Dear Ms Wai – Summer Holiday Woes

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Dear Ms. Wai,

I’ve been dating an amazing Chinese guy for several months. We’re both students at the same university (in China) and our relationship is going really well.

But now the summer holiday is coming and I have to go home for 2 months. If I don’t go home my parents would kill me, but I don’t want to! I really want to stay here for the summer with my boyfriend. Two months is too long and he will find another girlfriend or lose interest in me, right? He’s a really good looking guy with a lot of girls interested in him. I was kinda surprised when he pursued me instead of other girls he could have easily gone after. We’ve only been together about half a year but I feel like he might be the one. We’ve even talked a little bit about the future and marriage. Is going home for 2 months going to destroy all that?!

Will our summer separation be the end of us?

Don’t worry! In China it is very common to be separated from your partner for long times, years even, and guys stay faithful. If he has given you no reason to worry about his faithfulness when you are around, then I see no reason to worry when you are gone. If he’s serious about you (and it sounds like he is if you’ve already talked about being together in the future) he’ll wait. And he chose YOU not the other girls, so no need to be jealous.

Short (and sometimes long) separations are more common in a multicultural relationship because of visa difficulties, family, job or language reasons. Many mixed couples end up separated or apart for different reasons at different times. So consider this a test run for the future.

Also, two months isn’t a long time! If this was a situation where you had to be separated indefinitely, or for years, my advice might differ because you are a new couple and waiting years might not be worth it. But this is only two months! I know it seems like a long time now you are in the throes of passion, but the summer holiday will go by in a blink of an eye and you’ll be back together again soon.

So go home, have fun and bring lots of pics of your hot new guy you can show off to your family and friends!

Ms Wai

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