Posted by In keeping with our one-year anniversary celebration, I want to let it be known that it is also the one-year celebration of Ms. Wai!
You guys asked a lot of great questions this year and kept me busy considering your different situations and trying to offer up tips to help you navigate your east meets west relationships. In the past year I’ve answered 23 different problems from making the first move to dealing with the in-laws.
Of course I wish that none of you had any problems, and every relationship was pain free and easy to understand, but we live in the real world and know that no relationship is like that, much less an international/multicultural one.
The truth is that western women face a lot of hurdles when dating an Asian man. We are often cast as the whore who will have sex with any man that walks, or expected to be the angel and do everything our husbands family tells us to.
The truth is we are somewhere in between. And each woman needs to figure out what she is comfortable with and how much she is willing to deal with in the name of “respecting culture” and when she needs to respect herself. And it’s hard to know yourself where to draw that line.
Are you crazy for thinking one way? Is what he just did unexpected or totally normal in Chinese culture? Can you stand up for some of your own traditions and beliefs without hurting him or his family?
These are tough situations and writing them down and getting another persons advice can help clarify your thoughts and (hopefully) bring a little sanity to your problems. There are not a lot of Western women dating Asian men so hearing from others like us is a very good thing.
I want to thank you for your comments and suggestions too. It’s been really awesome how in just one year we’ve built a small community of support, and you help each other out with advice from your own lives. Thanks so much and please keep commenting.
But I would especially like to thank those of you who have written to me and trusted me with your problems. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing honestly both the good and the bad. Your letters might just be your relationship at a certain point and time, but know that many other women are reading them and relating to them. You think you are just asking for advice, but you are sharing a small part of yourself and affecting others. So I thank you for that.
And keep the letters coming! Year one is done but I’m rearing to start with year two. I’ve already got some letters waiting to be published and advice ready to give. Thank you for writing to me, thank you for commenting on the posts and thank you to the silent readers who don’t say anything. I really appreciate you all.
*Kisses*
Ms Wai
Do you have a question for Ms Wai? Write to her at mswai@wwambam.com
- Dear Ms. Wai — Will My Daughter be an Issue? - April 3, 2023
- Dear Ms. Wai: Worried About my Niece Marrying a Chinese National - November 13, 2021
- Dear Ms. Wai: Am I Being Culturally Insensitive? - August 10, 2021
Congrats on reaching the first year Ms. Wai! 🙂 Being married to an Asian man, I definitely understand the differences that come with it, especially now that we have a child. There are so many things over the years that I’ve shaken my head at and said ‘how is this possible!’ But slowly, I am trying to understand things from a different point of view, and not overreacting if something is not done as I am normally used to. I would love to be a contributor one day, especially from a Canadian perspective!